10 May 2013

Public Face, Private Heart

Everyone has a public face. It's the one we show to the world. We gussy it up. Smile broadly. Pluck and tweeze relentlessly. Smooth our hair. Edit out the flaws. Enhance our expression. 

We literally show our best face. 

For a long time, that was my Facebook profile picture. It's a self-portrait I played with in Instagram. I like it but it's only part of the picture. Only part of who I am. 

The other night I was reflecting on living a big life, a true life, a vulnerable life. What would it mean for me to show my true face? The private me. The one that no one really sees. Maybe not even me. 

I took some pictures with my phone and played with them in Instagram. One in particular struck me as more revealing, more honest, more true. 

Before I could change my mind I made it my profile picture. 

The moment I did I felt a sense of relief, like maybe I wasn't hiding myself so much anymore. Like maybe I could speak with more authenticity. Like I could be vulnerable and still feel safe. 

Since then I have felt this new sense of power. Of knowing. Of being. 

In that instant of showing my true face I changed my understanding of myself. And my relationship with myself. And that's changed my relationship with the world. 

It's a surprise to me that so much has changed. I don't want to over analyze it or make it something I'm not sure it is. I merely want to be grateful for the opportunity to be me. 


Sandy said...

I like the second picture better, actually. You look like a much more interesting person! Good for you for being yourself.

amie said...

When I saw you had changed your pictures, I loved it....you look comfortable to me....like you are cozied up on the couch! Good for you!

Marie Auclair said...

I often reflect on my life because it feels like society tells us that we need to be a certain way in order to obtain happiness. I try to think of my actions during the week to see if they were influenced by this idea or if I acted on what was necessary or what I truly wanted. Have you seen the Dove video with the sketch artist? That made me very contemplative and happy and relieved all at the same time. Similar to this post. You're beautiful, don't change. :)

P.S. I saw your post on the quilterblogs.com site.

Kimberly Davis said...

Thank you Sandy! It feels good to wear my own face.
Amie! I was totally cozied up on the couch when I took that picture.
Marie, thank you. Authenticity and vulnerability are challenging in a society made of facades. but the more people show their true selves, the more we can change that.