19 November 2012

Shine Your Love

A couple weeks ago I was feeling unsettled. An anxious uneasiness was eating at me around the edges. I felt disconnected from the present moment and uncertain as to my path.

My normal tendency would be to withdraw and hibernate until I regained my equilibrium. I'd seek some solitary space to go inward and explore the source of my dis-ease. I'd heal by myself, alone, in silence.

But something inside me resisted that tendency to hide. Retreating to a secret shelter didn't sound healing to me. My gut was telling me that instead I needed to reach out, to connect, and to offer love.

Offer love? That seemed so odd. Here I was feeling vulnerable and my intuition was guiding me to share my heart? Where would I do that? How would I do that?

I sat with the feeling for a while and became more and more certain that it was the right path. I remembered three lines I wrote in my art journal a while back:
Can you shine imperfectly?
It seems to me that if you offer of yourself and give of your heart, then it's going to be full of light.
Can light be wrong?
I reached out to my sisterhood of painters on facebook. I told them I was feeling uneasy and unsettled and that I wanted to try something different and send out blessings of love and light. From the moment I pressed post, I felt a sense of lightness and release. And my painting sisters responded with great love and light in return.

The uneasiness calmed and I felt a warm sense of well-being.

Since then, I added love to my practice of mindfulness and gratitude. I sit quietly and open my heart and let the love shine out. The more I practice, the more love I find I have to share.

In a full heart, there is room for everything,
and in an empty heart there is room for nothing.
-Antonio Porchia
 When in doubt, love is the answer.