19 June 2008

Permission to Laze About Granted

I've taken this morning off because June's crazy schedule is beginning to wear on me. My upper back is tense, my nerves are a bit jangled, and my patience is wearing thin. This morning I told my cat to stop looking at me. So a morning off is welcome. And probably necessary.

My plan was to spend the morning puttering in my studio, maybe quilting or perhaps stitching a binding, and to also take care of a few home tasks, like menu planning and laundry. But here it is 10:00 a.m. and I am still sitting on the recliner with my laptop. Earlier I crawled back into bed and read a magazine cover-to-cover. The most ambitious thing I've done today is make oatmeal. Oh yeah, I ate it too.

So my plan to be productive in my studio and kitchen crashed up against the reality that I'm just too tired and need to sit. In the past, this would cause much angst and self-denigration. "Oh, I'm so lazy and I'll never accomplish anything. Blah blah blah."

But as I've sat today and quietly observed my thoughts and emotions, I realized that lazing about was exactly what I needed to do at this particular moment. Lazing about today doesn't mean that I will laze about tomorrow. It doesn't even mean I'm lazy. All it means is that I'm tired and need to sit right now.

So here I sit.

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